Installing Java on Windows XP

This blog seems to be turning into a problem-solving database thingy. Still, it's better than it getting no updates at all, right?

This particular post is about trying to install horrible Java on horrible Windows XP. Namely - you can't. Or, at least, I couldn't.

Double-clicking on the Java installer (either the online or offline versions; doesn't matter) results in a flurry of disk activity and then a whole lotta nothing. Looking in the system's %TEMP% location shows a directory, and a log file named jusched.log. Digging through the file shows that there was an exception - a crash - during the initialisation of the installer.

ERROR: Exception with message 'Resources.cpp(65) at Resource::getPtr(): cannot find resource (name='#1605', type='#6'). System error [1813] the specified resource cannot be found in the image file

According to some of the stuff I read, the version of the installer those Oracle/Sun idiots use doesn't run on Windows XP despite them telling you it, uh, does. The Java runtime might, but the installer used to install it... doesn't. It doesn't surprise me that Java is as shit as it is.

Grab an earlier version of the Java runtime and install that, instead. Here's the one I used (note the installer is still signed by Oracle - important!):

View Page: Java Runtime Environment 8.0 build 152

Why not use an older one directly from Oracle themselves? Because those morons want you to create an account to just download it! Hahaha-ha-ha... ha. No.

When running the older installer, ignore the warning that says it may not work in Windows XP - it's just saying that because even Oracle knows Windows XP is a huge, outdated crock of shit.

I'm running Windows XP in a virtual machine to run a Java JAR file, otherwise, I have no use for Windows XP nor Java.

I'm glad Java is practically dead.

And Windows XP.